In the Blue of the Flame

I don't want
to sit around
or sing and dance
and tell stories
around a sacred fire,

I want to stand
in the blue
of the flame -
naked,
groundless,
yet alive,

tempered by
an unquenchable longing
to meet myself
in my fiery wholeness,
reclaiming the majesty
and insignificance
of what I am
and what I'm here to do,
in a world that's content
to share stories around a fire,
too terrified to burn
its fingers and toes.

Stepping into the same river, twice.

every time I see a river
I catch it with my eyes,
I stop the flow,
or follow its course,
or dip my feet in
every once in a while;

and then I wonder
how it feels
to let the oft-held image go,
of not really stepping
into the same river
every time I watch it flow;

the meanders change
the reeds rise and fall,
ripples skid over smoothed stones;
and even as the water flows on
it has left itself behind
in the essence it shares and holds;

and then I see
what I could not see before
with my half-opened eyes,
for what I see with an open heart
is how I step into
the very same river, twice.

Fragrance

and a little bud wondered to herself -
"how can I feel my own fragrance?"
and then she was kissed open
by a prancing sunbeam,
and the wind took her
in his swiveling arms,
and she was plucked and pressed
by a wonder-filled child,
and crushed under the heels
of a lost passer by,
and she found her fragrance
as she clung to the souls
who had touched her
and her surrendered life.

Emptiness

that feeling
of sweet disbelief
while you're enjoying
ice cream from a cone -
heaven in every lick,
until your tongue
suddenly drops
into that hollow -
of the shell
left behind
when all the goodness
and joy is gone;
emptiness
is that magical space
you never quite know
or even thought existed,
until all else
inconsequential,
falls and melts away
into your
unquenchable womb;
the void that cradles
the death and birth
of all of life.

Notes to Myself - 3

Lakshman Rekha

What does living on the edge mean to me?
It means living at the edge of my comfort zone...my lakshman rekha.
My comfort zone is the little bubble that I create for myself.....the little space that feels safe....where I can retreat to when I feel the slightest unease or discomfort with something or someone.
But this is not a permanently defined space.....it is ever-expanding and ever-changing....
As I draw my own lakshman rekha, I define my comfort zone for myself, now.
My lakshman rekha is defined by my beliefs, my openness of heart and my own life experiences.
Each time the beliefs I hold on to dissolve and fade, and my heart becomes more open to giving and receiving, and I connect the dots in my ever-evolving life, I draw myself a new lakshman rekha.
Only to wipe this one away....and draw another one.....and another....

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Love seeks its own level

Love seeks its own level. Just like water.

It does not depend on the shape or size of the container that holds it.

It will fill up anything that holds the space for it.

Love flows when there is an open connection at both ends.

When there is instability in either of the containers, but the connections are open, readjustments and changes will occur naturally so that equilibrium is maintained.

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Respecting the essence

When I understand and respect my own essence, I set myself free.

When I understand and respect the essence of another, I set that person free.

Connection is about understanding and respecting the essence of our own self and the other.

When you connect with someone, you love him/her in a way that makes him/her feel free.