Into and Beyond the Light

today
i want to light
one little lamp
in the quiet
of my temple.

not for visitors
to come in
and take a peek
and marvel
at the darkness
and light,
to take them
to that same void
where I've been sucked in
many a time,

today
i want to light
one little lamp
just for myself,
not to feel safe,
or trump evil eyes,
or hope to save the world
with the light,

today
i want to light
one little lamp
just for myself.

i want to feel
the heat rise and engulf
my parched skin,
i want to feel
every wrinkle and scar
light up and burn,
i want to feel
the heat get to me
in the closeness,
i want to feel
the urge to get up
and walk away,
to do something,
anything,

and then
in that threshold
of one inflamed silence,
i want to feel the flame
flicker and grow
and die
in the stillness
of my temple

and feel the desire
to light it
and not light it
again.

today,
i want to light
one little lamp,
just for myself,
in the quiet
of my temple.

In Hiding

and even the sun,
in all her brilliance,
slips into the stillness
of her dark womb
every day
at twilight,
hiding herself,
away from eyes
that cannot hold
her ravishing beauty
for long -
eyes that want to
devour her glory,
tossing and turning
through long, dark nights,
all for a glimpse of her;
and then she arrives quietly,
without fanfare,
while the world still dreams,
burning shadows
along her way,
and fanning the flames
of those hearts
that fear not to walk
in their own light
and shadow.

Wall of Words

and you throw words
in the way
of my seeing,
so I can first
touch and feel
the walls of your heart,
so I can grope
and stumble
and fall in
through the black tunnels
of a love
that does not seek light
but only wants to live,
and feel
unapologetically
alive!

Loneliness

and when you called out to me
across the grey emptiness,
my heart lunged to meet you
and hold you as I would
a bird with a broken wing,
not knowing that your cry
was not of tears
wanting to be held,
but a call from the heavens,
revealing the face of God
on the other side
of the grey and the black.

In the Dark of the Night

in the dark of the night,
some people get away -
pinched skins
and powdered masks,
resting in the ashes
of long-burnt out sins;

in the dark of the night,
some people are spent
in the raging fire of what is,
stripped of their
insipid flamboyance,
without a fire escape;

in the dark of the night,
some people find
the signposts lost
in the glare of city lights,
guiding and marking
their long way home.

in the dark of the night,
is where I find
what I need to leave behind.

Black Silence

black silence
fills
every breath
dying
unto itself,
stretched
over one
precious moment;

to live one life -
this one,
when every door,
every window,
is tightly shut,
when every leaf
on the lone tree outside
speaks silence,

you learn to live
for yourself,
for no other;
for it is in
that blackness
and deathly silence
that you know
how to truly live -

to live and die
with every breath
stretched thin,
dying
unto itself,
into that
black silence
refilled.

A Prayer

let me light
the flame inside
to keep me warm
on a cold dark night,
let me hold
the flame within
to light a path
that is not in sight,
let me seek not
to light another lamp
whose flame flickers
now in the dying light,
let me walk today
towards the Light,
knowing
that a day will come
when they will
hold their flame
and shine their light.

You See the Flame

you see
the flame
flickering
and
fanning
the mellow
darkness,
but
you see not
the yielding
body
which
in giving
of itself
to the hungry
darkness,
holds
the flame
you see
tonight.

Cockroach

crawling
in dark spaces
where light
is not let in,
fear -
like a cockroach,
has a way
of coming back
to roost -
invincible;
it scuttles over
unused
forgotten
dishes
waiting
to be aired.

Will you cry with me?

I stand guilty before your eyes -
eyes that see,
only what they can see now;
but some day,
when you can look at yourself
with those very eyes,
that peer fearfully through a mask
that doesn't become you,
will you look me in the eye?
and will you cry with me?

will you then know who I am
beyond this thin veil,
that you're so scared to draw back
and expose your own rawness?
the world is not all chiffon and white roses
and pretty pink packages,
like you want it to be;
and so some day,
will you see my face
and will you cry with me?

there are no scales
to weigh or measure humanity;
there are no yardsticks
when you dream of walking the moon
or diving into the innards of a fiery earth;
the only scale is the ground
where I plant my two feet,
where shadow and light
merge into a formless nothingness,
beyond black, white or even grey;
and so some day will you hold me inside
and will you cry with me?

I am the terrorist
who shatters the glass house you live in,
I am the rapist
who sits inside watching you through the keyhole,
I am the murderer
who kills the demons that you hide away from,
I am the offender
who sits on the edge of right and wrong;
I am what you don't see in the mirror
that you smile and look into each day;
I am there, even if you don't want to see me,
even if you don't want to cry with me;
but will you stop by some day
and not run away
or look at me with pitiful eyes,
and will you cry with me?

Seeing

a falling apart
or a coming together
of worlds
new and old?

a fragmented self
or a cryptic whole
aglow
in a new light,
seen beyond darkness?

A pause
for a breath,
and the view
is magical!

Inspiration

catching
the light and dark
of a shimmering twilight
and a hopeful dawn,
sits Inspiration -
on the brink
of time and space;
looking into the now -
this moment, and
infusing it
with all of herself,
welcoming
the stirrings
of an ever-changing sky,
broken open
in a joyous cloudburst
of a constant renewal.

Red Moon Rising

A crimson Moon
rose in all her glory
from the cerulean black wilderness.

Did she stoop down
to kiss the Sun
as he went down on his knees?

Or did she smear
the sacred vermilion
to mark their union?

An empty heart is filled
at the cusp of light and dark.

Conflict and Connection

every once in a while,
the earth and the moon
get in each other's way -
an interplay of light and dark;
every once in a while,
in the midst of a conflict,
light and darkness eclipsed,
a new connection is birthed.

Fireflies

hope.
faith.
love.
peace.
like fireflies
finding their way
on a new moon night,
a still heart leaps
even if for a moment,
to capture
a fleeting glow
in the dark.

Shadow play

disoriented,
misty-eyed,
lost,
distraught -
shadow plays
of a tireless ego;
in the incessant play
of light and dark
is the source
of all that is -
the only GPS
that helps me
find my way home;
when I listen
to the silent whispers
of my heart,
I can sit back and watch
the shadows
come to life
and dance
with abandon,
scripting a new story
of light and dark.



 

As you walk through the door...

as you walk through the door...
let me make room,
welcome you home,
listen with my core;
as you walk through the door...
let me let the light in,
to see you shine,
setting shadows aglow!

Light and Dark

the rain is here
the world stirs
from its sleep,
  painted storks in flight,
my heart takes a leap!
the endless play
of light and dark starts,
I watch with awe, as
opposites light the spark!