I wear a sari

the first time I wore a sari,
was for you,
to see the woman I had become;
yes, it was a long time ago;

a sari pleated and pinned
with joy -
the joy of belonging
to someone
other than me;

today, I don't wear a sari
that often,
and when I do,
I wear it for me -
to feel the woman I am,
with love handles et al;

six yards of skin,
wrapped around skin;
pleated and pinned
with a slowness of being,
and a deep pang of something
I can never call my own.