When I Went Looking for Joy

there was a time
when I went looking for joy -
in the forests,
in the mountains,
in the flowers,
in the sky,
in the ocean,
in the moonlight,
in the music,
in the whys,
a joy that was elusive
like a mirage on a long drive,
or raindrops that vanished
in the steam of the sky,
she was never there
where I looked,
and always there
before she was found -
like a one year old
playing hide and seek
never hidden, and so
never found!
and then I found her
right here,
watching me grope around,
what a fool I had been
to look for her
in the 'Lost and Found';
and so I learned
to play her game,
without questioning
or taking sides,
to dive into the space
between knowing
and not knowing,
for that's where she hides!