This unschooling journey with my son has opened up so many possibilities for me too......things that I had never thought of......things that had never before inspired me enough to question or do something about.....But I can feel the change within and without. I am no longer the person I was two years ago when we started this journey. The unfolding of the self has been both profound and beautiful. I am grateful for this gift that I have received - the gift of mindfulness, celebrating every moment and constantly being in touch with one's true self. I am still understanding and learning about this precious gift. Everyday.
Yesterday was Ayudha Puja - the day we celebrate the gifts that Goddess Saraswathi has given us and thank her for them. We did the usual puja that we do at home for books, things we use, musical instruments, the vehicles we have and so on. There were some young banana trees that our driver had bought and left in our balcony for the puja for the car. They suddenly caught my attention as I was hanging out the clothes to dry. Until that moment I had not even thought about them. Suddenly, I was engulfed with a deep sadness. My eyes welled with tears as I saw them. My heart sank and I had goosebumps.
The last time I had felt this way was on our trip to Sikkim a few months ago (that is another post), when the beauty of everything around me overwhelmed me so much. I was crying as I saw the breathtaking waterfalls, streams, majestic mountains and the tall trees that surrounded me. Tears of bliss if one could call it that. To me, that was a moment of enlightenment. I could "feel"with nature.....not as a tourist would.....but as a nature-lover and seeker would I guess.
And today, when I saw those young banana trees I felt the same way, but with a tinge of sadness. I was sad that someone had cut them down just to use them for a five minute puja. Each of those, if they had been left alone, would have grown into big mature trees, bearing fruit. I could "feel"their pain. But someone had cut them and now by buying them, we were privy to that too. I was shaken and heartbroken.
Could we not do without these trivial rituals? Why do we need pumpkins and trees as good omens and to ward off evil eyes? That could have been food for some hungry soul. And to think that for a good part of all these years, I had not even bothered to question all these things! I was shocked at myself. But I resolved to stop and think even about these mundane things, by being true to myself and my real nature. I realised that I had only recently started living and discovering another way of being - with my son leading the way.
Yesterday was Ayudha Puja - the day we celebrate the gifts that Goddess Saraswathi has given us and thank her for them. We did the usual puja that we do at home for books, things we use, musical instruments, the vehicles we have and so on. There were some young banana trees that our driver had bought and left in our balcony for the puja for the car. They suddenly caught my attention as I was hanging out the clothes to dry. Until that moment I had not even thought about them. Suddenly, I was engulfed with a deep sadness. My eyes welled with tears as I saw them. My heart sank and I had goosebumps.
The last time I had felt this way was on our trip to Sikkim a few months ago (that is another post), when the beauty of everything around me overwhelmed me so much. I was crying as I saw the breathtaking waterfalls, streams, majestic mountains and the tall trees that surrounded me. Tears of bliss if one could call it that. To me, that was a moment of enlightenment. I could "feel"with nature.....not as a tourist would.....but as a nature-lover and seeker would I guess.
And today, when I saw those young banana trees I felt the same way, but with a tinge of sadness. I was sad that someone had cut them down just to use them for a five minute puja. Each of those, if they had been left alone, would have grown into big mature trees, bearing fruit. I could "feel"their pain. But someone had cut them and now by buying them, we were privy to that too. I was shaken and heartbroken.
Could we not do without these trivial rituals? Why do we need pumpkins and trees as good omens and to ward off evil eyes? That could have been food for some hungry soul. And to think that for a good part of all these years, I had not even bothered to question all these things! I was shocked at myself. But I resolved to stop and think even about these mundane things, by being true to myself and my real nature. I realised that I had only recently started living and discovering another way of being - with my son leading the way.
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