A story of unmet needs

I identify an unmet need.
I dwell in the pain and grief of it being unmet.
I look for ways in which it can be fulfilled, because I feel I deserve better from life, or because I cannot deal with the pain and grief anymore, or simply because it is a human need.....and so I dream, I fantasize, I yearn....
I think and feel that because I have faced and dwelt in my pain and grief, I know it all and so I can heal another with similar unfulfilled needs.
I finally find a way of fulfilling my needs and the others' creatively. I work on that with commitment and devotion. I think I have healed by healing the other.

But have I really healed my wounds? Have I really healed the other? Is that truly possible? Am I not beginning to hold on to and depend on something again, by finding a way of fulfilling this unmet need? And then, I end up having another need that goes unmet....and get stuck in the same story.

Am I not missing the whole point of life here? Am I not setting myself up for disaster? Why not dwell in the pain and the grief long enough, just letting life do its work on me and the other, for as long as it takes? Is there something that I need to see, where life is pointing me to or taking me towards, which I am just not seeing or getting?...and maybe, just maybe, this 'not seeing', this falling, this rising, this dreaming and this hurting is all that life is about...maybe I just have to live it and that would be the real story!