joy without reason

i wish i could be
that mother,
all over again,

and pick up my baby,
without a care
in this world,
throw him up to the wind,
and twirl him,
and hang him upside down,
with his eyes
still hanging up,

with tickles
and endless laughter,
like snowflakes
frozen upon a breeze,
folds of plump skin
waiting to be gorged
with smiles and kisses,
hearts chasing each other
around the house
in timeless wonder,
and a lightness,
without reason,

with impromptu tangos,
silly words,
and dimpled songs,
jiggling like jelly beans,
and games plucked
out of pauses
I don't want to ever end,
where Joy takes over
the house and hearts
overgrown with thistle,
but no flowers,

how I wish
I could remember
that joy without reason,
lighting up every cell,
I wish I could remember
how to be that child
in a mother,
all over again.