A Love Letter

I love you.

And I say that so many times each day, but the words just don’t come out that way.

They form a silent poem inside that I cannot fit into those three little words.

Because what I feel is a feeling that cannot be confined within this small, superficial shell of words. Love is a language of the heart, which cannot be shared in any other way, but by loving, freely and fully.

So I will try and take you there – as close to the feeling that I feel when I feel love for you.

I will try and breathe that love into every word that I utter here, pour the unbridled passion that I feel every time I think of you, and make them come alive to dance within your heart.

Maybe then you will know how much I love you....maybe then you will go to those places that your love takes me to.....

...to where the waters dance on a surreal moonlit night, to where the ever-flowing and expanding ripples wave goodbye to the water’s edge, to where the blazing sun tears through the sleepy morning sky, to where the edgy birds waltz and glide on the fragile brink of stillness, to where the carefree buffaloes soak into the warmth and coolness of doing nothing, to the hazy uncertainty of a bleeding sky at twilight, to the wonder and ecstasy of a transient rainbow that springs out of nowhere, to where the heavy water-laden clouds hang over an expectant earth, which has forgotten the waiting, to the desolate sands of a secluded beach where the waves crash in relentlessly, as if to say “you are not alone”, to the hidden joy of a deep, long-lasting love in a sweet-smelling jasmine, to where the puffy white clouds blow gossamer dreams into a sleepy blue sky, to where the blood-red moon rises like a sphinx from the inky darkness, which waits to swallow it whole, to where the free-spirited birds soar on wings of love and faith, in the solitude and comfort of knowing what it is to be oneself..... to where the dance goes on....

                                                                                                 

Let me take you on the wings of my words to where endless love is born over and over again. Let me take you to that little piece of wonderland, where there is no beginning nor end....

To that moment when I first saw you and knew in my every cell, in my bones, in my gut and in my heart, that I love you. Like no other.

To that moment when your eyes first met mine in the love-filled ether that flowed between us. I remember that moment still.

To those moments when you ran your fingers through my flowing hair as I left it to dry over the incense, slowly rising through the cane basket, where I rested my head. I wished time would stop still - then and there, as the hair on my skin stood up. They stand on end even now as I remember that moment again.

To those moments when we sat under a starry sky, sinking into the silent darkness that held us with love and stillness.

To those moments when you held my hand in yours and sang songs from your heart, as our bodies touched each other in a silent longing.

To that moment when I asked you to marry me, and you said yes without even thinking, as our souls knew that we needed each other in this lifetime, to rise and grow, in and with love.

When I say “I love you”, I dream of these moments and remember them fondly, wishing they would come alive again now.     

When I say “I love you”, my mind’s eye conjures up images of how beautiful you are. Your salt and pepper hair and overgrown moustache that holds youth and old-age with equanimity, your pot-belly and the warm hair on your chest where I can rest my face and forget whether I am asleep or awake, your cuddly body where all my worries melt away into nothingness, your strong arms that take me in just the way I am every single time, your smile that holds the innocence and wonder of a little kid, your brown eyes that remind me of sweet honey trickling down a bottle - full of love and goodness. Your warm touch arouses me, stirs me up and makes me come alive every single time. I forget then whether I am dying or being born again.

There is so much to love in you. You make me feel that special feeling of what it means to love a man – with a tenderness, passion, lust and devotion. You make me feel like a woman.

When I say “I love you,” I mean all of you, just as you are. I love your playfulness, how we can laugh at ourselves and at life. I love your courage, your strength and your spontaneity. I love your anger and insecurities. I love your honesty. I love your eternal optimism. I love your willingness to face your fears and grow. I love your openness to learn something new every day. I love your tenderness and gentleness, which burst from tightly held seams, in those moments when you get completely into yourself. I love your simple philosophy of Life – to be yourself at all times...for that is the best place to be, always.

To say “I love you,” means I trust you with my mind, body and soul. I respect you like you respect me. I admire you. I adore you. It means that I love this dance of loving each other. I love how it constantly calls me to go deeper into myself. I love how we lead and follow each other in the way our life has been choreographed.

I want to wake up beside you every morning and be next to you when I close my eyes every night. It means that I miss you when you are not around, and that I am so happy that you are back at home.

It means that in this magical universe of infinite possibilities, and on a planet of several billion human beings, I want you.

For you are my universe, my world, my life, my love, my all. You are my love. You are love.

You gave me reason to live and to love.

I love you.